The Wipe: Standing Or Sitting? (1 Viewer)

[FUBAR]

I can't believe I clicked back on this thread just to find out how someone's first frontal wipe went.

It's these life moments that make this place special. 

 

[tommyboy]

I feel like we've reached that TMI phase of the relationship

 

[Homer J Simpson]

No matter your method, I hope you finish with a counterclockwise swirl.

 

[glvsav37]

They say you cant teach an old dog new tricks...well challenge accepted!!!

 

[No. 16]

Shift a little weight to left side. Reach behind with right hand. Wipe upwards (the people who push poo towards the jewels baffle me as much as the standers). Finish off with a toddler wipe when at home.

FYI, For public poos, sitting or standing, always put a long enough toilet paper strand over the auto flush sensor so it doesn't set off spraying unwanted gross water on your ###.

This. My exact process.

I'm guess those who can't do the method described above need to lose some weight and/or work on your flexibility.

 

[Fariq]

Pass

Wby don't you want to see how other dudes wipe their behinds?

 

[technicaldifficulties]

Mine is more of a forward squat and lean, not full standing.  I find this naturally separates the cheeks.  If I had the choice, I'd have a Japanese toilet do all the work.  Those things are worth their weight in gold

 

[The Football Freak]

I never even considered that there would be 39 people in the world who stand up to wipe their ###, let alone in this thread so far. Generational? Genetic? Is it like when 20 people all see the same accident, but have 20 slightly different descriptions? I am flummoxed.

This is like that scene in Fear and Loathing when the suit walks into the bathroom to see a man sucking acid off of another man's sleeve. I will never look at a stall the same way again. 

 

[Dan Lambskin]

I think everyone should put a GoPro near their butthole and post a video of how they wipe so we can clear up some misconceptions.

@shukeVs @General Malaise: Wipe Off

 

[AAABatteries]

They say you cant teach an old dog new tricks...well challenge accepted!!!

Your dog uses TP?

 

[Brony]

Don't you hate it when you do a public doody and you only have one or two pipe cleaners with you?  I realize you can twist that TP like a tornado but it's not the same

 

[=Smackdown=]

These threads always make it easy to tell who's fat and who's not.

 

[TheWalkmen]

Greetings from the crapper.

I just tried wiping my ### with my non-dominant hand, while sitting of course, and lifting my ### and wiping front to back, like a normal person.

 

[Bobcat10]

Finish with a baby wipe at home? 

So you're walking around with #### in your pants all day long until you go home? Wtf? 

I'm saying at home I have the wipes, so will use one at the end. Outside of the home is a fine cleanup, just not touched up at the end with a wipe.

 

[Limp Ditka]

These threads always make it easy to tell who's fat and who's not.

Oddly enough, it even easier to find the #######s in these threads. Welcome to list.

In my life, I've gone from a 165# waif to a 300# behemoth. Currently residing somewhere happily around the 215 mark. My weight has never dictated my wiping habits. 

 

[cstu]

I never realized that people stand to wipe.  Never once while at work and there was someone dumping in the stall beside me did I detect a stand to wipe maneuver.  How does that even work?  Do you have to spread your butt cheeks first?  

If you do the sit and lean, there's a natural widening of the cheeks for easy wipe access.

I am truly stunned by this thread.  

You and me both, Cap'n.

 

[cstu]

Greetings from the crapper.

I just tried wiping my ### with my non-dominant hand, while sitting of course, and lifting my ### and wiping front to back, like a normal person.

 

[cstu]

I never even considered that there would be 39 people in the world who stand up to wipe their ###, let alone in this thread so far. Generational? Genetic? Is it like when 20 people all see the same accident, but have 20 slightly different descriptions? I am flummoxed.

This is like that scene in Fear and Loathing when the suit walks into the bathroom to see a man sucking acid off of another man's sleeve. I will never look at a stall the same way again. 

Blows my mind because if you have ever toilet trained a child you teach them to lean and wipe front to back.

 

[tommyboy]

I lay on the floor on my back with my legs in the air and use paper towel, usually go 3 knuckles

 

[Bobcat10]

I had the movie theatre butter popcorn poos all last night and I can't fathom how you would clean that up going underneath. It's gross from the rear. Really should be an immediate shower but it was in the middle of the night. I'm not obese fwiw. 

 

[Leroy Hoard]

So how far off the seat would you say you actually are?  

I levitate about 3 feet off the seat. This also gives me a good view of what's going on in the surrounding stalls & urinals.

 

[shuke]

I voted sitting, but I lean to one side.  Are there really people that go in between their legs from the front?  I cannot even fathom this.

 

[The Football Freak]

Blows my mind because if you have ever toilet trained a child you teach them to lean and wipe front to back.

Once upon a time, I would have assumed this, too. Now that I'm a bit older, and have seen some things, it's clear anything is possible.

Life brought us unicorn whales (narwhales), and poisonous beaver-ducks (platypus), so I guess people standing up and wiping after a poo really shouldn't be that amazing. So, did your dads or moms teach you all that way? Were you left to your own devices? 

 

[Zegras11]

I voted sitting, but I lean to one side.  Are there really people that go in between their legs from the front?  I cannot even fathom this.