The Wipe: Standing Or Sitting? (2 Viewers)

[Willie Neslon]

I stand because I wouldn't know how to wipe while sitting.  I don't know what the technique would be.  You go in there between the legs?  Is it more of a delicate type of wipe?  Do you do the sides?  It doesn't really make sense to me.  Do you come in contact with your junk? 

 

[Captain Cranks]

Never realized that people sit when wiping.  I don't even know how it would be possible to get a good clean wipe while sitting on the toilet.

I never realized that people stand to wipe.  Never once while at work and there was someone dumping in the stall beside me did I detect a stand to wipe maneuver.  How does that even work?  Do you have to spread your butt cheeks first?  

If you do the sit and lean, there's a natural widening of the cheeks for easy wipe access.

I am truly stunned by this thread.  

 

[ILUVBEER99]

I never realized that people stand to wipe.  Never once while at work and there was someone dumping in the stall beside me did I detect a stand to wipe maneuver.  How does that even work?  Do you have to spread your butt cheeks first?  

If you do the sit and lean, there's a natural widening of the cheeks for easy wipe access.

I am truly stunned by this thread.  

Before standing prepare with the 1st batch of TP and hold the left cheek open before standing.  For lefties i suppose they hold right cheek to the side for left hand wiping.

Haven't had any left over doodie since probably 10 years old so must be doing something right.

 

[Courtjester]

Lean on the left cheek...reach around to the right and go in from behind with upward swipe away from the sack.

This!!

My god, some of you are just weird. 

 

[George Jefferson Airplane]

Wait, there's men that wipe from the front?  Wtf?  I thought only chicks did that.

If you wipe from the back you take the chance of leftovers in your taint.  If you take it front to back, only the upper buttcrack is impacted.   

 

[pantagrapher]

The sandwich need not close. A 3/4 hover provides plenty of clearance. Even more, if you go with Tobias' 2-hand method. Hell, the stand even offers the opportunity to throw a foot up onto the sink if things really get ugly, which I've done on occasion. 

I'm not into all this complicated yoga ####. Lean, wipe, wipe, flush.

 

[ILUVBEER99]

you sitters must walk around all day with leftover poo on your taints.  So gross.

 

[fantasycurse42]

I'm way too large to sit, I just can't gain enough access to be assured of a thorough cleaning. The automatic flush toilets we have at work are annoying, flushes almost continually. 

BTW, for the wet wipe guys, try "Water Wipes"... A little pricey in comparison to the competition, but you'll notice the difference - best on the market, you're welcome.

 

[ILUVBEER99]

BTW, for the wet wipe guys, try "Water Wipes"... A little pricey in comparison to the competition, but you'll notice the difference - best on the market, you're welcome.

hmmm, interested.  What is the difference between wet wipes and water wipes?

 

[pollardsvision]

I'm not into all this complicated yoga ####. Lean, wipe, wipe, flush.

Foot on the sink is a rare maneuver.

The day-to-day is a fairly uncomplicated procedure.

 

[Idiot Boxer]

I don't care if you're sitting or standing, but if you're going between the legs and back to front, I'm pretty sure I'm never dining with you, shaking your hands or participating in team sports with you.

 

[pollardsvision]

I never realized that people stand to wipe.  Never once while at work and there was someone dumping in the stall beside me did I detect a stand to wipe maneuver.  How does that even work?  Do you have to spread your butt cheeks first?  

If you do the sit and lean, there's a natural widening of the cheeks for easy wipe access.

I am truly stunned by this thread.  

Standers don't stand straight up an clinch their ### cheeks, btw.

The leaning forward still happens. Really, it's pretty much the same thing going on, it's just that your ### isn't still connected to the bowl, forcing sitters to ether have to lean sideways or, apparently, lift their twig berries out of the way to go in from the front.

It's really just about having a little more room to operate.

 

[rascal]

The people who stand to wipe are the same people who pull their pants all the way down at the urinal. 

No.

 

[Captain Cranks]

Standers don't stand straight up an clinch their ### cheeks, btw.

The leaning forward still happens. Really, it's pretty much the same thing going on, it's just that your ### isn't still connected to the bowl, forcing sitters to ether have to lean sideways or, apparently, lift their twig berries out of the way to go in from the front.

It's really just about having a little more room to operate.

So how far off the seat would you say you actually are?  

 

[fantasycurse42]

hmmm, interested.  What is the difference between wet wipes and water wipes?

No chemicals, never any rash or uncomfortable feelings afterwards... The issue most would prob have is they aren't flushable - I live in a building and work in a building, so I flush them anyways. They're so much better than any flushable wife you'll ever use.

https://www.waterwipes.com/us/baby/

 

[pollardsvision]

So how far off the seat would you say you actually are?  

About a foot. I'm pretty short though, so taller standers probably get more clearance.

 

[Idiot Boxer]

So how far off the seat would you say you actually are?  

Much closer to ski jump crouch than stick the landing dismount.  

 

[Cliff Clavin]

So how far off the seat would you say you actually are?  

6-8". 

 

[Captain Cranks]

OK.  So stand may be somewhat of a misnomer.  It's more of a squat or hover.  

Seems like you standers get some extra quad work in.  

 

[FreeBaGeL]

I thought I was weird for still standing when I was like 8 years old and quit then.  It honestly never crossed my mind that adults still do it.

 

[rascal]

Between the legs for men?  I guess the T of the LGBT community is more prevalent than I thought.

 

[Dan Lambskin]

Sit

a few initial wipes from the back then go from the front to get the rest

i have hit a few low bowl situations where you get a wet hand but that's what soap is for

 

[Zegras11]

Go in front side, maneuvering around the sac, but keeping the hand high to avoid the water. Short wipes to prevent as much spreading as possible.

Sounds like you'll wind up with ####ty balls.

 

[Zegras11]

I hate it when I have ice cream the night before the morning drop.

 

[James Daulton]

Apes and monkeys stand and just let it fly so I suppose our standers can claim to be more like our ancestors. 

 

[pollardsvision]

So, how often to you sitters actually touch the seat with your hand?

Not that I'm a huge germaphobe. I mean I think putting paper down on the seat is stupid, for example, but I still don't love the idea of touching the toilet seat with my hand. Knowing that my hand, at the time, is a micromilimeter of cheap, porous paper away from ####. Still, I'd just rather not.

You gotta be super drunk to risk touch the seat with your hand as a stander.

 

[Captain Cranks]

Apes and monkeys stand and just let it fly so I suppose our standers can claim to be more like our ancestors. 

I like to think these guys are my ancestors.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSKQ3ZNQ_O8

 

[MrPoo]

I like to think these guys are my ancestors.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSKQ3ZNQ_O8

I had one like that just last week.

 

[tommyboy]

I weep for society

 

[Captain Cranks]

Where would wiping your butt on the carpet like a dog fit in the two option poll?  

 

[Ramblin Wreck]

For those that standi up, if you have one of those nasty beer ####s, don't you smear it all over your ### when you stand up before wiping?

 

[Willie Neslon]

For those that standi up, if you have one of those nasty beer ####s, don't you smear it all over your ### when you stand up before wiping?

uh, no?

 

[Thunderlips]

Quality TP is essential in regards to wiping effectively. In all the bathrooms at my work campus, they have the worst TP....single ply, almost glossy.  Poop just smears around, no matter how much of a wad you make.  It's so bad, it's better to use the rough paper towels from the hand dispenser....and that happens so often, Plumbing had to put up signs all over saying not to use paper towels. 

Once you have your TP situation down......standing while wiping is the next step in have a clean butt, taint and sack.  I'm anal-dextrous, I can wipe sitting or standing(sitting id much better for being discreet at the work place)....but sitting just doesn't give me the comfort in my mindset that I've done a good, clean job. 

 

[SacramentoBob]

Just tried the sitting, come in from the front method. Not as awkward as I thought it'd be, but I don't feel like I get enough leverage.

 

[SacramentoBob]

Where would wiping your butt on the carpet like a dog fit in the two option poll?  

Dogs sit while doing this so...

 

[Thunderlips]

Just tried the sitting, come in from the front method. Not as awkward as I thought it'd be, but I don't feel like I get enough leverage.

That's the rub.  Archimedes once said....you let me come in from the back side and I could wipe the world.  You need that snap, that pressure and that leverage.  Coming in from the front and going back to front means your passing your hand and forearm thru poop territory.

 

[jamny]

I can't believe I clicked back on this thread just to find out how someone's first frontal wipe went.

 

[jamny]

What happens when you get old and/or have back issues? I would think the front wipe would be easier to manage.

 

[gianmarco]

I can't believe I clicked back on this thread just to find out how someone's first frontal wipe went.

 

[cockroach]

you sitters must walk around all day with leftover poo on your taints.  So gross.

That's what some of my friends said when we had this discussion (Most are front to back wipers)... you paint/wipe with small strokes... not like Daniel-san painting the fence.  Stop after the bhole.  If you do happen to have a messy movement and you hit the taint, wipe that too.  Not rocket surgery.

I'd bet that a lot of the sitters (meant standers) have a weight issue where they might have difficulty finding room between their legs with their big thighs, seriously.

Oh, and as a sittter/back to front you kind of grab you junk and pull up with your offhand to provide an unobstructed wiping path.... look down, then drop.

 

[cockroach]

   You can still wipe from front to back while sitting if using the lean to one side method.

I think the standers are the ones more likely to have weight issues.  Not enough room to get in from the back or side while sitting. 

Oooops... that's what I meant.  The standers prob have weight issues

 

[BustedKnuckles]

 

[GOB]

Sit, then stand just in case.

But I also have a bidet and my ###### has never been cleaner.

 

[Zegras11]

Just tried the sitting, come in from the front method. Not as awkward as I thought it'd be, but I don't feel like I get enough leverage.

Did you get any in your ##### also?

 

[slackjawedyokel]

Single-cheek lift with downward swipe and twist.

 

[AAABatteries]

How ####### big are the toilets you  front wipers use?  Or are you all Asian?

 

[SacramentoBob]

I think everyone should put a GoPro near their butthole and post a video of how they wipe so we can clear up some misconceptions.

 

[Mister CIA]

Sit and lean. How else do you get the half-knuckle deep cleanse?

 

[Captain Cranks]

I think everyone should put a GoPro near their butthole and post a video of how they wipe so we can clear up some misconceptions.

Pass

 

[The General]

No bidet option? Philistines.