And the one who truly deserves a tier all her own, as by far the worst Beatle wife...
1. Heather (met Paul 1999, married 2002, divorced 2008) – This is not just the most despicable Beatle wife, but a truly despicable human being. Being a gold-digger is not even her worse quality…no, that would be being a pathological liar who actively tries to ruin people’s lives. Some pre-Paul lowlights:
- Claimed that when she was eight, she and her neighbor were kidnapped and sexually assaulted by a pool attendant who then committed suicide, a story that was quickly confirmed by the neighbor as being wholly untrue, leading to a lawsuit where Heather ended up paying damages.
- Claimed she ran away and was homeless living under Waterloo station at 15, which is disputed by her family and school records.
- Claimed to have been fired from a job in a jewelry store, but the owner says she was never employed there but instead came in and stole stuff from him, for which she was put on probation when charges were filed. She also told the owner her very-alive father was dead.
- Entered into a relationship with a guy who bought her some boobs and opened a modeling agency for her, which she rewarded by embarking on a two-year affair as the mistress of another rich dude. She then proposed to the first dude, who agreed to marry her only if she would get psychological help for her pathological lying. She blamed her lying on having been trained by her father to do so, but got counseling so that this guy would married her.
- While married to this poor dumb *******, started an affair with a ski instructor while on a holiday paid by said PDB. PDB later advised Paul to “run for your life” from Heather, advice sadly did not take to heart. After her divorce from PDB, she was engaged at least three more times before meeting Paul. After breaking off one engagement, she told people variously it was because her fiancé was gay or that he was an MI6 agent sent to stop her anti-landmine work.
- Impersonated a newspaper journalist with the same name by providing copies of the other Heather’s work as her own, leading to her landing a job as a TV presenter.
- Claimed to have been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. (Could be true but has been judged highly doubtful.)
- Claimed her mother had nearly lost a leg in a car crash, leaving only a flap hanging on the bone. Never happened, according to Heather’s stepfather, who called her “a very confused woman for whom reality and fantasy have become blurred.”
Paul-wise, she was a similar joy. Some Paul-and-beyond-era lowlights:
- Claimed that Paul’s daughter Stella had once issued a press release about how much she liked Heather, something that had not happened. Later when the relationship with Paul broke down, Heather claimed it was Stella’s doing, because she was jealous.
- Claimed to have been asked to run for Parliament by all the main political parties, including Tony Blair and a “Lord McDonald,” who didn’t exist.
- Cancelled a meeting with Bill Clinton because she feared it would be seen as an endorsement of Al Gore that would influence the US presidential election.
- Claimed to have won an award called “Outstanding Young Person of the Year” by the British Chamber of Commerce, an award that doesn’t exist.
- Claimed Paul had been constantly drunk and had stabbed her with a wine glass, stabbed her pushed her into a table, and pushed her into a bathtub while she was pregnant, but that she had remained the dutiful wife who took care of everything at home. These claims were in conflict with Heather’s own prior writings.
- The judge in their divorce proceedings praised Paul’s candor and reasonableness, but had this to say about Heather: “Having watched and listened to her give evidence, having studied the documents, and having given in her favour every allowance for the enormous strain she must have been under (and in conducting her own case) I am driven to the conclusion that much of her evidence, both written and oral, was not just inconsistent and inaccurate but also less than candid.” Heather responded to this by pouring a jug of water over Paul’s lawyer’s head.
- Claimed constantly to receive death threats and called the police out to her place so often that the police chief referred to her as “the boy who cried wolf.”
- After the divorce, publicly pledged to give a large portion of her divorce settlement to Adopt-a-Minefield, but gave them zero.
- Was asked to leave the 2014 Paralympic Games in Sochi due to her behavior toward officials.