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I sharted... (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter Ray Karpis
- Start date
SHIZNITTTT
Footballguy
I once had to wipe with my sock.
TheAristocrat
Footballguy
We have to merge this thread with the other poop-your-pants thread.
SHIZNITTTT
Footballguy
xulf
Footballguy
The Football Freak
Footballguy
Ah, the shart. The tell-tale fart,
I do not trust you, not in my heart.
I feel the dread bloat, and make a move for my coat,
But the fell pressure is implacable, I cannot stop this boat.
My head is feeling light, I casually scan left and right.
Tiny muscles quietly straining, oh...please...don't give up the fight!
An angry, pushing turtle, a clarion gurgle,
Oh, boy, it's a coming, and there is zero privacy to burgle!
I squeeze off a tweet. Oh, what a feat!
Wait...what was that? Something followed; something not so sweet.
There is a hush in the room, and a stygian fume,
And I'm just standing there, spewing out foul-smelling doom.
I walk out real slow, my head held quite low.
Dayum, can you smell that? Yeah, it's like the putrid a ss of a crow.
I got in my car. ### squishing with tar.
####### dollar gas station tacos, now I've gotta find a new ####### bar.
I do not trust you, not in my heart.
I feel the dread bloat, and make a move for my coat,
But the fell pressure is implacable, I cannot stop this boat.
My head is feeling light, I casually scan left and right.
Tiny muscles quietly straining, oh...please...don't give up the fight!
An angry, pushing turtle, a clarion gurgle,
Oh, boy, it's a coming, and there is zero privacy to burgle!
I squeeze off a tweet. Oh, what a feat!
Wait...what was that? Something followed; something not so sweet.
There is a hush in the room, and a stygian fume,
And I'm just standing there, spewing out foul-smelling doom.
I walk out real slow, my head held quite low.
Dayum, can you smell that? Yeah, it's like the putrid a ss of a crow.
I got in my car. ### squishing with tar.
####### dollar gas station tacos, now I've gotta find a new ####### bar.
Jayrod
Footballguy
Did this for the first time in forever a couple of days ago. Dropped my undies in the library bathroom and went straight to a sporting goods store for some nice comfy new compression shorts. Worst fear was that time frame when commando and afraid it will happen again but straight into my khakis.
Tom Servo
Nittany Beavers
steelerfan1
Footballguy
my little niece had to inform her school nurse what this was. she walked into the office looking really scared. nurse asked her what the problem was and my niece replied, I sharted. nurse said, you what. niece said, sharted.
nurse said, honey I have no idea what that is. tell me what is wrong with you.
my niece explained after being told several times to do so that her dad had explained it to her that it is when you try farting but poop your pants at the same time.
the nurse called my sister in law to bring a change of clothes and informed her of what my niece explained to her. needless to say my brother in law had some splainin to do when he got home from work that evening....
nurse said, honey I have no idea what that is. tell me what is wrong with you.
my niece explained after being told several times to do so that her dad had explained it to her that it is when you try farting but poop your pants at the same time.
the nurse called my sister in law to bring a change of clothes and informed her of what my niece explained to her. needless to say my brother in law had some splainin to do when he got home from work that evening....
dickey moe
Fingerpicker
Immodium
ShamrockPride
Footballguy
I did this about an hour into my work shift a couple months ago. Luckily I was in a private area when I did it so nobody heard it. The smell was awful at first. Wasn't prepared for it. Thought it was just a normal fart. Next thing I know I feel warm liquid #### running down the back of my legs. The back of my boxers are soaked. Even worse....Or better I'm not sure, I did it like right in front of a running floor fan. It was a mess. I was terrified to move. Stood there for probably 10 minutes contemplating wtf to do. I managed to sprint to a bathroom and luckily only saw small blotches of wetness that worked all the way through my boxers into my actual pants. This was a minor relief. I still had the runs all the way down into my socks. I spent so much time in the bathroom that day wiping down. I'm sure I smelled and people were just nice enough to not say to my face I smelled like a walking turd farm. The shower was so beautiful once I got back home.
Don't Noonan
Footballguy
ShamrockPride
Footballguy
After this I now keep a spare change of drawers in my car
