And, something I've tried to communicate in this thread, as right as we think we are, we need to realize that we are probably wrong quite often.
Also, to go along with "understanding > being understood", I think it's helpful to not worry about what assumptions people make about you. I'm increasingly ok with the thought that other people attribute things to me that aren't true. The next step might be to take these opinions of me, which I see as not being true, and trying to figure out if maybe they really are true and whether that's something I need to work on or not. For example, I don't view myself as homophobic. However, I'm sure I hold certain views that would lead to others labeling me as homophobic. In general, I'm ok with that.
I don't have a great need to clear my good name in that person's eyes. I should, though, take the accusations and reconsider whether I am who I think I am.