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Have a laugh on me - you need it, I need it, we all need it. (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter General Malaise
- Start date
beer 30
Footballguy
TheFanatic
Footballguy
So the door knob of my main door bathroom shoots craps Memorial Weekend. Actually, on the day we have about 80 people come over for a pig roast. People are constantly banging from inside the bathroom to let them out. Original door knob to the house and it finally wore out. It wasn't a big deal that day because there were so many people there and the outside door knob worked for some reason.
My wife, a stay at home mom, decides to go ahead and fix it a couple days later. She is installing the new door knob from inside the bathroom. Somehow, she installs it locked and backwards. So she is now locked in a bathroom with a newly turned 4 year old and a 14 month old roving the house, neither of whom are at all interested in helping mommy get out of the bathroom. It's a main floor bathroom but a walk out basement and the bathroom is on the back of the house. She opens the window and takes the screen out and hangs out the window and drops down. She goes back into the house, unlocks the door and tries to figure out where she went wrong when she LOCKS HERSELF IN AGAIN! Back out the window again. At that point she called her dad to come fix the door knob (he lives a half mile away).
My wife, a stay at home mom, decides to go ahead and fix it a couple days later. She is installing the new door knob from inside the bathroom. Somehow, she installs it locked and backwards. So she is now locked in a bathroom with a newly turned 4 year old and a 14 month old roving the house, neither of whom are at all interested in helping mommy get out of the bathroom. It's a main floor bathroom but a walk out basement and the bathroom is on the back of the house. She opens the window and takes the screen out and hangs out the window and drops down. She goes back into the house, unlocks the door and tries to figure out where she went wrong when she LOCKS HERSELF IN AGAIN! Back out the window again. At that point she called her dad to come fix the door knob (he lives a half mile away).
mr. furley
Footballguy
General Malaise
Footballguy
The worst part is that they were heckling me from inside their room, saying "Potty daddy, potty daddy, ha ha daddy, potty daddy". Then they'd fake unlock the door and laugh at me some more. Just evil creatures.Have twin toddler boys who revel in my inability to control them. You just described my life. Can relate.
northern exposure
Footballguy
My sons are 10 and 12 now. Back when the oldest was about 2, my wife went out to take a break from the kids and I was alone with an infant and a 2 year old.
The 2 year old saw that I was busy with his brother, so he locked himself in the bathroom with our dog. I realized he was missing and discovered the locked bathroom door. There was pleading from me to open the door which was met with fake door unlocking followed my laughter.
I heard the sound of scissors and hair clippers and by the time I picked the lock, I was greeted by my grinning son and our dog with an interesting new hairstyle.
msudaisy26
Footballguy
In about 10 to 15 years these stories from GM will get real interesting.
the rover
Footballguy
Thorn
Footballguy
msudaisy26
Footballguy
Don't most knobs have screws that hold them together? Why couldn't you just get a drill or screw driver and take off the handle?
Mile High
Footballguy
Looks like they fixed it but if he couldn't pull the pins on the hinges from outside the room that means you can from the inside then.That works great until the little devils realize they can lock their dad in their bedroom and ransack the rest of the house. Yeah, I think I'd either leave it as is or get a door knob without a lock.
Mile High
Footballguy
Sure there are, just depends on which side of the door they are on when closed.hinges on the "outside"? of a closed door?
Mile High
Footballguy
Thorn
Footballguy
Zegras11
Footballguy
beer 30
Footballguy
If he was smart he'd sell them to science now and cut his losses. Wish somebody would have told me that when mine were 2. I mean they are pretty much at the apex of cuteness at that age, it's only going to go downhill from there. Get out of the 18 year time/money suck that blossoms into an ungrateful teenager you have to worry about carving you up at 3 am because you turned her wifi off because of the smell coming from her room that is a cross between a freshly dug grave at a cemetery and a water treatment facility in Kuala Lumpur.
UOFI_316
Footballguy
Most bedroom doors swing in, so the hinges would be on the inside. The screws on a doorknob are typically on the side that has the lock, to prevent someone from unscrewing and bypassing the lock. So they would also be on the inside of the room.
The way to get in would have been to pop off the door stop trim, which would have then allowed for the credit card, or other tool to slide between the door and the jamb and pop the lock.
msudaisy26
Footballguy
I would never trade my daughter, but pretty sure my husband would trade her for a jet ski, or something. We fully believe in our household that evil skips a generation. My husband and I were both perfect kids, both graduated with good GPA's, he actually only missed school 3 times in high school. Neither of us never even had detention, both have had jobs since we turned 15 and so on. Our kid is crazy though. On the flip side my sister in law was a horrible kid, got in trouble for fighting, drinking, smoking pot, got average at best grades, got knocked up her freshman year of college. Both her kids are angels. Go figure.
General Malaise
Footballguy
My sons are 10 and 12 now. Back when the oldest was about 2, my wife went out to take a break from the kids and I was alone with an infant and a 2 year old.
The 2 year old saw that I was busy with his brother, so he locked himself in the bathroom with our dog. I realized he was missing and discovered the locked bathroom door. There was pleading from me to open the door which was met with fake door unlocking followed my laughter.
I heard the sound of scissors and hair clippers and by the time I picked the lock, I was greeted by my grinning son and our dog with an interesting new hairstyle.
El Floppo
Footballguy
General Malaise
Footballguy
General Malaise
Footballguy
They were also locked behind the door with the evil children. Another neat discovery.
General Malaise
Footballguy
ChiefD
Footballguy
What are they, safe crackers with a whole bag of tools in there?
Jesus Man, you are fooked.
General Malaise
Footballguy
Mile High
Footballguy
That's why I never put my kids in a room I can't get into from the outside. Lock or hinge pins need to be on the outside.
General Malaise
Footballguy
I have a 14 year old and a 13 year old. Terrific kids. Easy kids. I think they even like me. They are from my first wife.
These new kids from new wife? Savages. Wild, feral savages. I don't get it. My wife is calm and chill as hell. But these kids? They are trying to kill me. Slowly.
DA RAIDERS
Footballguy
love it
msudaisy26
Footballguy
I hope these boys are very smart mechanically and start taking apart things GM wants to use and video tape him trying to fix it or hitting it to get it to work.
General Malaise
Footballguy
msudaisy26
Footballguy
It skips a generation, you must be have been in the middle. Not to wild, and not to laid back as a kid.
General Malaise
Footballguy
Mile High
Footballguy
Last edited by a moderator:
msudaisy26
Footballguy
NorvilleBarnes
Footballguy
Chemical X
Footballguy
you dad, i learned it from you!
mquinnjr
Footballguy
Clown Car
Footballguy
I have a kid who did the butt cream thing but for the most part mine don't do too much real damage. My current 2yo likes to write on everything do we have marker, crayon, pencil marks all over the house from about 2ft from the floor. It's hilarious.also love how @Clown Car is just lurking in here, throwing out the occasional like.
Im kind of in agreement with msudaisy. I was a kind of bad kid, sex drugs defiance attitude, but my teens are pretty mellow.
TheFanatic
Footballguy
Moved into my new house 2 years ago. Bought new furniture for the basement man cave including this cool cloth ottoman to go in front of the big chair that faces the TV (Modern day throne!). Had the footrest for about 2 months while we rehabbed the house. Left the plastic/seran wrap type stuff on it the whole time. Finally, I arranged the furniture in the room when the work in the basement was done and pealed off the plastic. Couple hours later, I go down stairs and there's my 2 year old with a red sharpie in his hand... Yep...
Politician Spock
Footballguy
Sam Malone did this story first on Cheers.
General Malaise
Footballguy
mr. furley
Footballguy
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