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Dating Advice - I blew and now acting on emotion. Is there anything I can do now? (1 Viewer)

It's hard to be an a-hole to nice people. It sounds like she wanted to break up with op, and finally did but she just sucks at it. Or, she may be keeping him around as an option. The only clear answer here is to drive to the new town and see if she has another boyfriend.
 
Soootch said:
Yeah I was not expecting 44. I sort of can’t wrap my mind around it. Maybe she’s famous? Emma Watson, Margot Robbie and Jennifer Lawrence are all 32. I would grovel for any of them.
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Man, 44 is a money spot to be in if you're single. Still young enough to look good. Presumably has a decent job with enough dough to splash around. The age spectrum can be generous here: 25 all the way up to MILF age.

The glory years.
 
Hawks64 said:
Zow said:
fruity pebbles said:
You should call her at exactly 7 o’clock and if she doesn’t answer every five minutes there after. Shows tenacity.
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And if that doesn't work try her mom. Then her best friend. Maybe drive over there, too....
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Love going down the cringeworthy memory lane at your expense GB. This feels like younger you all over again.
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1. It's definitely brought back some memories. I probably hadn't thought about the ex for months to years (@Spiderman take note) until this thread. Nonetheless, this thread has forced me to reflect on it in a good way. I obviously wish I handled it better - in hindsight with more objectivity I did some really cringeworthy stuff that I regret far more than doing what I could to make the relationship work (because it was probably going to always fail as I was almost too into her that it was a toxic level of infatuation). And, probably, the biggest regret was spending the 1.5 or so years it took me to get over the relationship when I should really have been enjoying that time with little to no responsibility but for not failing law school. I spent so much time sitting in my apartment and/or on this board moaning about it when I should have been playing sports, hanging with friends, and casually dating (I stupidly turned down some easy care free sex during that time ). Should have been 4-6 months max recovery time. Anyway, no overall regrets as I got to have some subsequent fun dating and being single for a few years and then met my wife (who is a significantly better match for me in the long-term). FWIW, I believe the ex is in a similar situation and seems comparably happy (we're still facebook friends) so I'm genuinely glad for her. All worked out in the end. Just wish I had that extra year or so in my 20s back. :excited:
2. The OP is five years older than me and ~20 years older than younger me when I plastered this board with similar threads. He needs to learn quick. I'm not sure what that says.
 
ChiefD said:
Man, 44 is a money spot to be in if you're single. Still young enough to look good. Presumably has a decent job with enough dough to splash around. The age spectrum can be generous here: 25 all the way up to MILF age.

The glory years.
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You couldn't tell me this before marriage??
 
Update:
I did ask her earlier, on chat, how her work project went and she said the draft was done, but still working on it.
I then asked if she was good with 7pm tonight to talk. She said 'yep'
She just asked a moment ago if I can 6 pm now (vs. 7 Pm) so she can attend an excercise class at 7pm that she wasn't able to make earlier today.

Obviously, this means that our conversation will not last more than 45 minutes, if goes that long.
 
Spiderman said:
Update:
I did ask her earlier, on chat, how her work project went and she said the draft was done, but still working on it.
I then asked if she was good with 7pm tonight to talk. She said 'yep'
She just asked a moment ago if I can 6 pm now (vs. 7 Pm) so she can attend an excercise class at 7pm that she wasn't able to make earlier today.

Obviously, this means that our conversation will not last more than 45 minutes, if goes that long.
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:wall:
 
Obviously, she expects the call to last under 1 hour. That's probably because we're done and she's going to state that so she probably doesn't need more than a few minutes to explain her decision.
 
Spiderman said:
Update:
I did ask her earlier, on chat, how her work project went and she said the draft was done, but still working on it.
I then asked if she was good with 7pm tonight to talk. She said 'yep'
She just asked a moment ago if I can 6 pm now (vs. 7 Pm) so she can attend an excercise class at 7pm that she wasn't able to make earlier today.

Obviously, this means that our conversation will not last more than 45 minutes, if goes that long.
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Lol at 45 mins. If you ramble for the first 43 mins like you do in this thread than possibly. The last 2 mins will then be her saying “Thanks, you’re sweet, but I think it’s best if we just be friends. Gotta run to my “exercise class”
 
BigJim® said:
Spiderman said:
Zow said:
fruity pebbles said:
“Nice gesture” doesn’t denote romance. That’s what I’d say to someone who offered me their seat. If she goes into a big, long winded speech on what was wrong with the relationship and you, please just hang up.
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Yeah she called it a nice gesture because it is a nice gesture and she'd look awful for not acknowledging them.

Doesn't mean they did anything for her.
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I think she probably did appreicate them, I don't that that it's enough though to change anything. A gesture sounds more complementary, but it could be a small reminder that I'm trying. Ultimately, it's just a word though.
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Yes, 'gesture' is just a word. A cold, arms-length, acknowledgment word.

In those few words you shared from your exchange today, you are coming off like someone too anxious for this call, and she like someone who is dreading it. Amazing actually, with so few words. JMHO, most people would not put off a call they want to have with a romantic interest using a work excuse. I'm starting to think that isn't a bad thing in the grand scheme. You could be inauthentic/suave and intrigue her enough to keep it on life support, but that's not sustainable. If you are needy, better for you to appear needy, learn the consequences of projecting it, and get on to getting on with that experience.
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--
 
Spiderman said:
Update:
I did ask her earlier, on chat, how her work project went and she said the draft was done, but still working on it.
I then asked if she was good with 7pm tonight to talk. She said 'yep'
She just asked a moment ago if I can 6 pm now (vs. 7 Pm) so she can attend an excercise class at 7pm that she wasn't able to make earlier today.

Obviously, this means that our conversation will not last more than 45 minutes, if goes that long.
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This is setting a definite ending to the call, not a good sign imo.
 
Mitchie said:
Spiderman said:
Update:
I did ask her earlier, on chat, how her work project went and she said the draft was done, but still working on it.
I then asked if she was good with 7pm tonight to talk. She said 'yep'
She just asked a moment ago if I can 6 pm now (vs. 7 Pm) so she can attend an excercise class at 7pm that she wasn't able to make earlier today.

Obviously, this means that our conversation will not last more than 45 minutes, if goes that long.
Click to expand...
This is setting a definite ending to the call, not a good sign imo.
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How long does decent phone sex take? 45 minutes is probably plenty.
 
ChiefD said:
Keerock said:
Was it ever discussed what the "long distance" is here? Where is Spidey and where is Gwen Stacey?
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He is on the pier and we are in the water.
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I’m fully expecting the final update to be:
”she broke up with me. She thanked me for a wonderful last year but said the relationship is no longer working. When I balked at moving out to be closer to her she got scared so she’s moving in with her auntie and uncle in Bel Air”
 
fruity pebbles said:
ChiefD said:
Keerock said:
Was it ever discussed what the "long distance" is here? Where is Spidey and where is Gwen Stacey?
Click to expand...
He is on the pier and we are in the water.
Click to expand...

I’m fully expecting the final update to be:
”she broke up with me. She thanked me for a wonderful last year but said the relationship is no longer working. When I balked at moving out to be closer to her she got scared so she’s moving in with her auntie and uncle in Bel Air”
Click to expand...

Now add 1,300 more words.
 
Spiderman said:
Obviously, she expects the call to last under 1 hour. That's probably because we're done and she's going to state that so she probably doesn't need more than a few minutes to explain her decision.
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I’m an over-analyzer by nature, so I can appreciate what you are doing here. But jesus man, as an impartial observer this is exhausting. Like no joke, some of these posts feel like I’m listening to three clones of my wife all at once. Again, I get the anxiety you are feeling. All of us have been there. But dude — the repetition and over-analysis. Are you like this with her? If so, I mean, maybe take a minute to get honest about the experience you are creating for her.

At the end of the day, that dude from Chasing Amy had it right……all chicks need is a little deep dicking.
 
My advice about women - don't give them nicknames like "jumbo" or "boxcar" or "chesty".
 
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