Dating Advice - I blew and now acting on emotion. Is there anything I can do now? (1 Viewer)

[Zow]

My advice about women - don't give them nicknames like "jumbo" or "boxcar" or "chesty".

Homer Simpson:
Oh, I almost forgot. While I was at the court house, I had them change your name.

Marge Simpson:
To what?

Homer Simpson:
Chesty La Rue.

Marge Simpson:
Chesty La Rue?

Homer Simpson:
Just try it for two weeks. If you don't like it, you can be Busty St. Claire.

Marge Simpson:
I don't want to be Chesty La Rue or Busty St. Claire.

Homer Simpson:
Fine. Hooty McBoob it is.

Marge Simpson:
Good night, Homer.

Homer Simpson:
Good night, Hooty.

Marge Simpson:
Let go of those.

 

[Galileo]

Obviously, she expects the call to last under 1 hour. That's probably because we're done and she's going to state that so she probably doesn't need more than a few minutes to explain her decision.

Well, from the sounds of things in this thread it's not like you were hanging out on hour+ long phone calls when you thought you were together. Why would expect one now?

 

[offdee]

Obviously, she expects the call to last under 1 hour. That's probably because we're done and she's going to state that so she probably doesn't need more than a few minutes to explain her decision.

Well, from the sounds of things in this thread it's not like you were hanging out on hour+ long phone calls when you thought you were together. Why would expect one now?

Because he’s changed! For her!

 

[jimmy b]

Let me summarize for you late arrivals

 

[bushdocda]

Scheduling time to talk is so hot.

 

[Keerock]

Scheduling time to talk break up is so hot.

FYP

 

[Skipdog77]

Update:
I did ask her earlier, on chat, how her work project went and she said the draft was done, but still working on it.
I then asked if she was good with 7pm tonight to talk. She said 'yep'
She just asked a moment ago if I can 6 pm now (vs. 7 Pm) so she can attend an excercise class at 7pm that she wasn't able to make earlier today.

Obviously, this means that our conversation will not last more than 45 minutes, if goes that long.

This is setting a definite ending to the call, not a good sign imo.

How long does decent phone sex take? 45 minutes is probably plenty.

Sure, if you add in the crying.

 

[dkp993]

Let me summarize for you late arrivals

Thank you. This saved me a ton of reading

 

[Spiderman]

We are broken up. She needs to improve herself, focus on her.
I asked her what she was doing this weekend....Camping with friends. I don't know who she'd be talking about so I asked who was that...refused to answer.
Probably seeing someone even though she flat out said she is not interested in seeing anyone right now.
She wants to keep the lines open, she does love/care about me, but she can't continue in a relationship with me.
I did sound pathetic, asked her to reconsider, sounded nuts, I'm sure....whatever.

 

[Schmeabs]

We are broken up. She needs to improve herself, focus on her.
I asked her what she was doing this weekend....Camping with friends. I don't know who she'd be talking about so I asked who was that...refused to answer.
Probably seeing someone even though she flat out said she is not interested in seeing anyone right now.
She wants to keep the lines open, she does love/care about me, but she can't continue in a relationship with me.
I did sound pathetic, asked her to reconsider, sounded nuts, I'm sure....whatever.

As long as Steve is not camping with the group you might be okay.

 

[Gr00vus]

Sorry to hear it. It'll hurt for a while. The stages are a real thing. Once through that, learn from this.

 

[STEADYMOBBIN 22]

We are broken up. She needs to improve herself, focus on her.
I asked her what she was doing this weekend....Camping with friends. I don't know who she'd be talking about so I asked who was that...refused to answer.
Probably seeing someone even though she flat out said she is not interested in seeing anyone right now.
She wants to keep the lines open, she does love/care about me, but she can't continue in a relationship with me.
I did sound pathetic, asked her to reconsider, sounded nuts, I'm sure....whatever.

So sorry my man. We’ve all been there. It doesn’t feel like it but you’re going to be a whole lot better in a few weeks. Looking forward to reading those threads.

 

[Spiderman]

I honestly don't know/how to meet someone next. I met her on accident. I'm alone right now. I am a wreck but do want to get back out there.

In all seriousness, how do I meet someone that I want to actually date?

 

[STEADYMOBBIN 22]

We are broken up. She needs to improve herself, focus on her.
I asked her what she was doing this weekend....Camping with friends. I don't know who she'd be talking about so I asked who was that...refused to answer.
Probably seeing someone even though she flat out said she is not interested in seeing anyone right now.
She wants to keep the lines open, she does love/care about me, but she can't continue in a relationship with me.
I did sound pathetic, asked her to reconsider, sounded nuts, I'm sure....whatever.

So sorry my man. We’ve all been there. It doesn’t feel like it but you’re going to be a whole lot better in a few weeks. Looking forward to reading those threads.

Stay busy, don’t annoy your friends with phone calls about this chick. Go listen to some Jocko Wilnick and start exercising.

 

[STEADYMOBBIN 22]

I honestly don't know/how to meet someone next. I met her on accident. I'm alone right now. I am a wreck but do want to get back out there.

In all seriousness, how do I meet someone that I want to actually date?

You get on tinder and you text message a bunch of sluts. I’ve been married for 21 years, you’ll get no sympathy from me right now.

 

[Zow]

We are broken up. She needs to improve herself, focus on her.
I asked her what she was doing this weekend....Camping with friends. I don't know who she'd be talking about so I asked who was that...refused to answer.
Probably seeing someone even though she flat out said she is not interested in seeing anyone right now.
She wants to keep the lines open, she does love/care about me, but she can't continue in a relationship with me.
I did sound pathetic, asked her to reconsider, sounded nuts, I'm sure....whatever.

Sorry to hear that. It's over. You said some dumb stuff but it's done. Grieve for a bit. Get drunk if that's your thing. Binge watch some shows. Take the holiday weekend.

But, don't contact her for any reason. And, come Tuesday, you pick yourself up and get your confidence back.

 

[Zow]

I honestly don't know/how to meet someone next. I met her on accident. I'm alone right now. I am a wreck but do want to get back out there.

In all seriousness, how do I meet someone that I want to actually date?

Don't worry about that now. Worry about that in a few weeks when you got some confidence back. It'll come.

 

[zoonation]

She’s seeing someone else. Sorry pal.

 

[Drunken knight]

We are broken up. She needs to improve herself, focus on her.
I asked her what she was doing this weekend....Camping with friends. I don't know who she'd be talking about so I asked who was that...refused to answer.
Probably seeing someone even though she flat out said she is not interested in seeing anyone right now.
She wants to keep the lines open, she does love/care about me, but she can't continue in a relationship with me.
I did sound pathetic, asked her to reconsider, sounded nuts, I'm sure....whatever.

Sorry to hear.

You asked about how to get back out there. I am married so do not know how to navigate the dating apps. If it were me, I would research clubs for activities I like, or would like to learn. make sure that there are singles in the group.

skiing
diving
sailing
volleyball
cooking
travel
wine tasting/pairing
learn a language
learn how to play an instrument
I used to play and coach lacrosse... i would get back involved with that.

Etc

 

[Ramsay Hunt Experience]

Just engaging with your interests online can also work. That’s how I nailed @scorchy

 

[Soootch]

This could kick off the best phase of your life thus far if you can get over the anxiety. You have no idea how many women in your town would bang you. It’s a lot, prolly. Go get ‘em.

 

[Soootch]

Last thing…don’t discount fat chicks. Perfect for practice, to get your confidence up. Any female attention is beneficial now since you’re starting from zero. You could go on any dating app right now and have a cute chubby girl on your couch before Labor Day. Netflix, nachos, nookie. Guaranteed you’ll feel better after that.

 

[STEADYMOBBIN 22]

You could go on any dating app right now and have a cute chubby girl on your couch Tonight.

FYP

 

[Judge Smails]

Sorry bud. Sounds like you learned some things for next time. Grieve, dust yourself off and get back on the horse

 

[Drunken knight]

You could go on any dating app right now and have a cute chubby girl on your couch Tonight.

FYP

Oooooooo…. What a great Friday thread!

“Spidy goes hoggin “

 

[dkp993]

We are broken up. She needs to improve herself, focus on her.
I asked her what she was doing this weekend....Camping with friends. I don't know who she'd be talking about so I asked who was that...refused to answer.
Probably seeing someone even though she flat out said she is not interested in seeing anyone right now.
She wants to keep the lines open, she does love/care about me, but she can't continue in a relationship with me.
I did sound pathetic, asked her to reconsider, sounded nuts, I'm sure....whatever.

Sorry to hear that. It's over. You said some dumb stuff but it's done. Grieve for a bit. Get drunk if that's your thing. Binge watch some shows. Take the holiday weekend.

But, don't contact her for any reason. And, come Tuesday, you pick yourself up and get your confidence back.

Excellent advice here. This is the path we’ve all had to walk.

 

[facook]

We are broken up. She needs to improve herself, focus on her.
I asked her what she was doing this weekend....Camping with friends. I don't know who she'd be talking about so I asked who was that...refused to answer.
Probably seeing someone even though she flat out said she is not interested in seeing anyone right now.
She wants to keep the lines open, she does love/care about me, but she can't continue in a relationship with me.
I did sound pathetic, asked her to reconsider, sounded nuts, I'm sure....whatever.

Sorry to hear that. It's over. You said some dumb stuff but it's done. Grieve for a bit. Get drunk if that's your thing. Binge watch some shows. Take the holiday weekend.

But, don't contact her for any reason. And, come Tuesday, you pick yourself up and get your confidence back.

This is the most important bit of advice in this thread. For your own self-respect and mental health. Grieve, find closure, and move on. But do NOT contact her, or the process will start over and get worse each time.

 

[ChiefD]

I honestly don't know/how to meet someone next. I met her on accident. I'm alone right now. I am a wreck but do want to get back out there.

In all seriousness, how do I meet someone that I want to actually date?

You get on tinder and you text message a bunch of sluts. I’ve been married for 21 years, you’ll get no sympathy for me right now.

I actually laughed out loud on this one.

 

[Spiderman]

My heart isn't really into it, but I was on eHarmony today. I received an interest, and we talked on the phone tonight for 2 hours.
I don't know if I sounded distracted, down or anything like that, but she seemed normal, fun and interested in meeting...we are planning to meet up on Saturday night.

Chances are, my heart is not in this....but I'm going to try.

 

[offdee]

Last thing…don’t discount fat chicks. Perfect for practice, to get your confidence up. Any female attention is beneficial now since you’re starting from zero. You could go on any dating app right now and have a cute chubby girl on your couch before Labor Day. Netflix, nachos, nookie. Guaranteed you’ll feel better after that.

Your blueprint. Good luck.

4: Not attractive. Major flaws start piling up (overweight, blemishes, etc.)

3: One of the uglier girls in school, one of the uglier girls at work (lower class of ugly women)

2: The ugliest girl in school, the ugliest girl at work (couldn't even get into a club)

1: Absolutely disgusting and hard to look at. Young children point and adults look away upon seeing (not one single redeeming quality)

 

[TheAristocrat]

Last thing…don’t discount fat chicks. Perfect for practice, to get your confidence up. Any female attention is beneficial now since you’re starting from zero. You could go on any dating app right now and have a cute chubby girl on your couch before Labor Day. Netflix, nachos, nookie. Guaranteed you’ll feel better after that.

Your blueprint. Good luck.

4: Not attractive. Major flaws start piling up (overweight, blemishes, etc.)

3: One of the uglier girls in school, one of the uglier girls at work (lower class of ugly women)

2: The ugliest girl in school, the ugliest girl at work (couldn't even get into a club)

1: Absolutely disgusting and hard to look at. Young children point and adults look away upon seeing (not one single redeeming quality)

This guy has Milwaukee experience at every level.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

You could go on any dating app right now and have a cute chubby girl on your couch Tonight.

FYP

Oooooooo…. What a great Friday thread!

“Spidy goes hoggin “

literally laughed out loud. thank you!

and spidey. get you a nice biggun. relax and have fun.

 

[Mrs. Rannous]

My heart isn't really into it, but I was on eHarmony today. I received an interest, and we talked on the phone tonight for 2 hours.
I don't know if I sounded distracted, down or anything like that, but she seemed normal, fun and interested in meeting...we are planning to meet up on Saturday night.

Chances are, my heart is not in this....but I'm going to try.

Don't look for love here. Just have a good time. Sing karaoke. Be silly. Now is the time to do this stuff.

 

[Mitchie]

I honestly don't know/how to meet someone next. I met her on accident. I'm alone right now. I am a wreck but do want to get back out there.

In all seriousness, how do I meet someone that I want to actually date?

You get on tinder and you text message a bunch of sluts. I’ve been married for 21 years, you’ll get no sympathy from me right now.

Tinder's not all it's cracked up to be.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Don't look for love here

A fantasy football board would seem to be such a sure thing.

 

[Hoh]

May I humbly suggest your Tinder username be Peter PorkHer?

 

[Godsbrother]

We are broken up. She needs to improve herself, focus on her.
I asked her what she was doing this weekend....Camping with friends. I don't know who she'd be talking about so I asked who was that...refused to answer.
Probably seeing someone even though she flat out said she is not interested in seeing anyone right now.
She wants to keep the lines open, she does love/care about me, but she can't continue in a relationship with me.
I did sound pathetic, asked her to reconsider, sounded nuts, I'm sure....whatever.

It was over anyway but asking her what she is doing and who she was going to be with was a bad idea.

 

[Godsbrother]

Last thing…don’t discount fat chicks. Perfect for practice, to get your confidence up. Any female attention is beneficial now since you’re starting from zero. You could go on any dating app right now and have a cute chubby girl on your couch before Labor Day. Netflix, nachos, nookie. Guaranteed you’ll feel better after that.

This is so wrong on so many levels but hilarious and not horrible advice.

 

[Hawks64]

We are broken up. She needs to improve herself, focus on her.
I asked her what she was doing this weekend....Camping with friends. I don't know who she'd be talking about so I asked who was that...refused to answer.
Probably seeing someone even though she flat out said she is not interested in seeing anyone right now.
She wants to keep the lines open, she does love/care about me, but she can't continue in a relationship with me.
I did sound pathetic, asked her to reconsider, sounded nuts, I'm sure....whatever.

Sorry to hear that. It's over. You said some dumb stuff but it's done. Grieve for a bit. Get drunk if that's your thing. Binge watch some shows. Take the holiday weekend.

But, don't contact her for any reason. And, come Tuesday, you pick yourself up and get your confidence back.

Seriously, listen to this guy. If ANY of his posts about the EX have survived the great purge, go read them. He knows of what he speaks.

 

[Captain Cranks]

You get on tinder and you text message a bunch of sluts. I’ve been married for 21 years, you’ll get no sympathy from me right now.

This. Whenever I would be heartbroken from dating, I'd get right back on the dating apps and talk to new girls even if the plan was never to meet up. It really helps to take your mind off things.

 

[zoonation]

Dude, eHarmony is not where you should be shopping right now.

 

[MTskibum]

My heart isn't really into it, but I was on eHarmony today. I received an interest, and we talked on the phone tonight for 2 hours.
I don't know if I sounded distracted, down or anything like that, but she seemed normal, fun and interested in meeting...we are planning to meet up on Saturday night.

Chances are, my heart is not in this....but I'm going to try.

See how easy that was, just go on one date with this girl no matter what. Then move onto the next date, after going out with 5-10 girls over a few months you will know what you are looking for.

Unless of course you live in a town like Watford City, North Dakota then you take anyone you can get.

 

[Zow]

You get on tinder and you text message a bunch of sluts. I’ve been married for 21 years, you’ll get no sympathy from me right now.

This. Whenever I would be heartbroken from dating, I'd get right back on the dating apps and talk to new girls even if the plan was never to meet up. It really helps to take your mind off things.

I somewhat disagree. I say this because I wasn't in a state to handle the natural and inevitable rejections that come with online dating. After my bad breakup, I scoured the sites looking for somebody just somewhat close to the ex in terms of attractiveness - which really limited the pool and limited my potential connections. Of course, I didn't get a lot of returned messages and the few I did either canceled, pulled some BS, or either just weren't compatible and, in a couple cases, showed up to the date looking significantly different/worse than their profile pictures (which I always found silly because if they had just used their current pictures I still probably would have been interested).

I know the point is that one should be looking to enjoy some care free times with girls who may not be as attractive but are looking for fun, and I do think there's real value in that, I just think that value comes some time later after the initial intense grieving stage is over. I mean, I say this as having literally thrown up the first time I hooked up with a girl who was quite willing but less attractive than the ex.*

*Though she wasn't actually the first girl I had had sex with after the ex.

 

[Zow]

Dude, eHarmony is not where you should be shopping right now.

Nope. It's a valuable website and I had significant success there, but I agree that the Tinders of the world are the play in the near future (I still think he needs to take at least a week).

 

[Zow]

We are broken up. She needs to improve herself, focus on her.
I asked her what she was doing this weekend....Camping with friends. I don't know who she'd be talking about so I asked who was that...refused to answer.
Probably seeing someone even though she flat out said she is not interested in seeing anyone right now.
She wants to keep the lines open, she does love/care about me, but she can't continue in a relationship with me.
I did sound pathetic, asked her to reconsider, sounded nuts, I'm sure....whatever.

It was over anyway but asking her what she is doing and who she was going to be with was a bad idea.

Right. It's also genuinely no longer his business (which is a tough concept to grasp).

Again, he said some dumb stuff, but sounds like he was inevitably going to do that. Best thing to do from here on out is to not contact her and fight the urge to track her on social media, etc.

 

[Zow]

Last thing…don’t discount fat chicks. Perfect for practice, to get your confidence up. Any female attention is beneficial now since you’re starting from zero. You could go on any dating app right now and have a cute chubby girl on your couch before Labor Day. Netflix, nachos, nookie. Guaranteed you’ll feel better after that.

Your blueprint. Good luck.

4: Not attractive. Major flaws start piling up (overweight, blemishes, etc.)

3: One of the uglier girls in school, one of the uglier girls at work (lower class of ugly women)

2: The ugliest girl in school, the ugliest girl at work (couldn't even get into a club)

1: Absolutely disgusting and hard to look at. Young children point and adults look away upon seeing (not one single redeeming quality)

6s, man. Some of my best memories are of the 6s who gave a significant greater effort than the 8s/9s (I concede that I never got with a ten).

6s were the wheelhouse for a couple of glorious years.

 

[Captain Cranks]

I somewhat disagree. I say this because I wasn't in a state to handle the natural and inevitable rejections that come with online dating. After my bad breakup, I scoured the sites looking for somebody just somewhat close to the ex in terms of attractiveness - which really limited the pool and limited my potential connections. Of course, I didn't get a lot of returned messages and the few I did either canceled, pulled some BS, or either just weren't compatible and, in a couple cases, showed up to the date looking significantly different/worse than their profile pictures (which I always found silly because if they had just used their current pictures I still probably would have been interested).

I know the point is that one should be looking to enjoy some care free times with girls who may not be as attractive but are looking for fun, and I do think there's real value in that, I just think that value comes some time later after the initial intense grieving stage is over. I mean, I say this as having literally thrown up the first time I hooked up with a girl who was quite willing but less attractive than the ex.*

*Though she wasn't actually the first girl I had had sex with after the ex.

For me, the intention was never to meet up. My heart just wasn't into it, which is why I specified "even if you don't plan to meet/meat". The purpose was to refocus my attention on other things and chatting with cute girls was a quick way to get there.

 

[Stuart Ullman]

I honestly don't know/how to meet someone next. I met her on accident. I'm alone right now. I am a wreck but do want to get back out there.

In all seriousness, how do I meet someone that I want to actually date?

Initiating conversation is half the battle. Chicks get approached all the time by dudes weirder / less good looking than you. If the chemistry is there, it's there. "Hi, my name is Spiderman." Don't even put the context of "want to date" into the mix.

Just start talking to every strange woman you see. Assuming you're not some kind of obese ogre, after your 200 to 300th interaction you should have at least 5 - 10 chicks that fit the criteria of being single and could stomach the thought of being seen out in public with you. Focus on the chicks that actually like you and give you attention, as opposed to the 20 that want nothing to do with you.

 

[Zow]

I somewhat disagree. I say this because I wasn't in a state to handle the natural and inevitable rejections that come with online dating. After my bad breakup, I scoured the sites looking for somebody just somewhat close to the ex in terms of attractiveness - which really limited the pool and limited my potential connections. Of course, I didn't get a lot of returned messages and the few I did either canceled, pulled some BS, or either just weren't compatible and, in a couple cases, showed up to the date looking significantly different/worse than their profile pictures (which I always found silly because if they had just used their current pictures I still probably would have been interested).

I know the point is that one should be looking to enjoy some care free times with girls who may not be as attractive but are looking for fun, and I do think there's real value in that, I just think that value comes some time later after the initial intense grieving stage is over. I mean, I say this as having literally thrown up the first time I hooked up with a girl who was quite willing but less attractive than the ex.*

*Though she wasn't actually the first girl I had had sex with after the ex.

For me, the intention was never to meet up. My heart just wasn't into it, which is why I specified "even if you don't plan to meet/meat". The purpose was to refocus my attention on other things and chatting with cute girls was a quick way to get there.

Ah, gotcha.

 

[Stuart Ullman]

Also, this is going to be your rebound girl. Everyone you know will understand if she's ugly, crazy, fat, etc. You're stuck on this old chick and this next chick isn't about falling in love, it's about getting you to stop feeling bad about the first one, proving to yourself you have worth in the dating market.