A Mass knife fight between all the Presidents (1 Viewer)

[matuski]

We have to narrow it down to those presidents living back when people actually fought with knives.

 

[Chadstroma]

Andrew Jackson. His whole life was basically a big brawl.

 

[Chadstroma]

First to go down? Carter. Obama would not be too far behind him.

 

[Sarnoff]

My wife and I were having this discussion and expanded to First Ladies. We had it narrowed down to Bess Truman, Edith Wilson, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Hillary Clinton. My wife leaned Truman, but I think Wilson.

Hillary would fight dirty. Michelle Obama has reach and looks like a mean grappler. I think they'd both make top 5. Lou Hoover would definitely be in the mix, too.

Yeah, I think a good case can be made for Hoover and Obama too. Lou Hoover hunted when she was younger. That might give her an edge.

Plus Laura Bush has already killed in the past.

 

[HellToupee]

I think you go with the shorter, scrappier guy over the taller, lumbering one in a knife fight. I like Grant. 5'9", 160lbs, West Point graduate, and only 46 years old at inauguration.

Loved his booze . At some point that would become a major flaw

 

[bakes]

Millard Fillmore. Everyone would forget he was there, he'd sit in a corner completely ignored, and then when either Teddy or Abe finish off the other with what they think is the coup de grace old Millard sneaks up and shivs the winner of that battle in the back.

 

[bakes]

First to go down? Carter. Obama would not be too far behind him.

Naaah, gotta be W. He'd whip out his "Mission Accomplished" banner at the start of the fight and the rest of them would immediately gang tackle him.

 

[the moops]

First to go down? Carter. Obama would not be too far behind him.

I would think at least half the presidents would be so damn confused that a black guy is in the ring that Obama may use that as an advantage. He still would be one of the first 10 out though

 

[Doctor Detroit]

Old Hickory and I'm serious when I say, it would not be close.

 

[Doctor Detroit]

First to go down? Carter. Obama would not be too far behind him.

Why Carter? You think farmers and Annapolis grads are weak? Jimmy was scrappy, not the first to go down. Obama, yes...he's out real early.

 

[Plorfu]

First to go down? Carter. Obama would not be too far behind him.

Why Carter?

Because he's a Republican sycophant.

 

[jwp]

First to go down? Carter. Obama would not be too far behind him.

Woodrow Wilson wouldn't fare too well either. FDR would be the first to go down I would think, though.

 

[Encyclopedia Brown]

Pierce is a sleeper. Not too old when inaugurated. Military experience in the Mexican war. Was in a train accident with his family and watched his son get decapitated, so a bunch of bleeding presidents won't faze him. Grew up in a log cabin, so you know he is tough.

Probably has an edge to him, as well.Whenever they make a list of all-time worst presidents, he's usually at the top.

 

[Kumerica]

First to go down? Carter. Obama would not be too far behind him.

Woodrow Wilson wouldn't fare too well either. FDR would be the first to go down I would think, though.

I dunno. He's like the R2D2 of the battle, and R2's a cagey one that usually rolls right by . . .

 

[Fennis]

I wonder if LBJ would kill Kennedy (again).

 

[BroncoFreak_2K3]

Old Hickory and I'm serious when I say, it would not be close.

/thread

 

[caglassc]

Harry Truman is being overlooked:

"I fired him [MacArthur] because he wouldn't respect the authority of the President ... I didn't fire him because he was a dumb son of a #####, although he was, but that's not against the law for generals. If it was, half to three-quarters of them would be in jail." Harry S. Truman, quoted in Time magazine

"I wonder how far Moses would have gone, if he had taken a poll in Egypt."

"God doesn't give a damn about pomp and circumstance."

"There are more prima donnas in Washington than in all the opera con~panies."

"If you want a friend in Washington, buy a dog,"

"Give 'em Hell, Harry!"

"The buck stops here"

Truman watched an assassination attempt on his life- an actual gunfight - from his bedroom window.

Truman had guts - easily top 5.

 

[Sabertooth]

Good stuff.

 

[Black Box]

I wonder if LBJ would kill Kennedy (again).

 

[Da Guru]

Also - could we be dismissing Obama here? Drug dealing on the South Side is not a game for sissy's - hell just ask Osama - he's a sneaky mfer

Obama was weaned on weed and beaches too laid back....not even in the top 10.

 

[BobbyLayne]

Harry Truman is being overlooked:"I fired him [MacArthur] because he wouldn't respect the authority of the President ... I didn't fire him because he was a dumb son of a #####, although he was, but that's not against the law for generals. If it was, half to three-quarters of them would be in jail." Harry S. Truman, quoted in Time magazine"I wonder how far Moses would have gone, if he had taken a poll in Egypt." "God doesn't give a damn about pomp and circumstance." "There are more prima donnas in Washington than in all the opera con~panies." "If you want a friend in Washington, buy a dog," "Give 'em Hell, Harry!""The buck stops here" Truman watched an assassination attempt on his life- an actual gunfight - from his bedroom window.Truman had guts - easily top 5.

My favorite Harry Truman story is he and Bess loading up the car in June 1953 and spending the summer driving across country. Pre-Interstate, mind you. Imagine working at a diner or gas station and the guy who had been POTUS for the last 7 years pulls up, sans SS or entourage.

 

[dickey moe]

Teddy Roosevelt for the win.

Andrew Jackson would feed on the carcasses.

 

[jwp]

Pierce is a sleeper. Not too old when inaugurated. Military experience in the Mexican war. Was in a train accident with his family and watched his son get decapitated, so a bunch of bleeding presidents won't faze him. Grew up in a log cabin, so you know he is tough.

Probably has an edge to him, as well.Whenever they make a list of all-time worst presidents, he's usually at the top.

I think you are thinking of the guy after him, Buchanan, who also is rumored to be our only gay president. Pierce would probably be drunk and not fare well either.

 

[Thorpe]

Pierce is a sleeper. Not too old when inaugurated. Military experience in the Mexican war. Was in a train accident with his family and watched his son get decapitated, so a bunch of bleeding presidents won't faze him. Grew up in a log cabin, so you know he is tough.

Probably has an edge to him, as well.Whenever they make a list of all-time worst presidents, he's usually at the top.

I think you are thinking of the guy after him, Buchanan, who also is rumored to be our only gay president. Pierce would probably be drunk and not fare well either.

The rules were you get the President at the best condition he was in for his term, so I get Pierce for the couple of hours he was sober during his Presidency.

 

[Doctor Detroit]

I wonder if LBJ would kill Kennedy (again).

Or is it still too soon?

 

[pollardsvision]

My wife and I were having this discussion and expanded to First Ladies. We had it narrowed down to Bess Truman, Edith Wilson, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Hillary Clinton. My wife leaned Truman, but I think Wilson.

Hillary would fight dirty. Michelle Obama has reach and looks like a mean grappler. I think they'd both make top 5. Lou Hoover would definitely be in the mix, too.

Yeah, I think a good case can be made for Hoover and Obama too. Lou Hoover hunted when she was younger. That might give her an edge.

Plus Laura Bush has already killed in the past.

Hillary's got a body count too, right?Either way, the women's division might be even more interesting than the men's.With the men, it's pretty clear. The old-timers would mop the floor with the later Presidents.With the older bitties, they have more girth and life was harder, but they didn't generally experience as much of the hard-scrabble life.It's hard to say what feminism and the women's uppity movement has done to the physical prowess and knife-combat skills of women.I'd still probably lean towards the old timers.Can we count Emily Donelson? She wasn't totally official, but she had Andrew Jackson as her uncle. If that doesn't make a chick tough and crazy, I don't know what does.

 

[optionmaven]

SLEEPER ALERT = Obama. lots of old white men would be deathly afraid of a black guy with a knife.

Just the opposite. They going to look at him and sing...One of these things is not like the others, one of these things is just not the same. One of these things is not like the others, can you guess which one before the end of our game?

 

[ffldrew]

Also - could we be dismissing Obama here? Drug dealing on the South Side is not a game for sissy's - hell just ask Osama - he's a sneaky mfer

Obama was weaned on weed and beaches too laid back....not even in the top 10.

You've been to Hawaii - there are some bad Bruddahs and Asian ninjas on the island(or at least that's the perception from 5-0) - hard to say if that overcomes the weed but remember he's also been trained by Al-Qaida in an Indonesian madrass. Pretty sure he gets in the ring and he could go all Manchurian Candidate on you.

 

[Moe.]

This was more fun when I thought they were in their physical prime regardless of when they were elected.

 

[Warrior]

It's hard to say what feminism and the women's uppity movement has done to the physical prowess and knife-combat skills of women.

Awesome....sig material!

 

[Chadstroma]

First to go down? Carter. Obama would not be too far behind him.

Why Carter? You think farmers and Annapolis grads are weak? Jimmy was scrappy, not the first to go down. Obama, yes...he's out real early.

Carter.... really? Unless that sweater was actually armor... see ya!

 

[Chadstroma]

First to go down? Carter. Obama would not be too far behind him.

Woodrow Wilson wouldn't fare too well either. FDR would be the first to go down I would think, though.

FDR was not always wheelchair bound. He was something like 30 or 40 before being diagnosed with Polio. Isn't this suppose to be 'in their prime'? I think FDR would be about average.But yea, Wilson would be another that would be an early out.

 

[the moops]

First to go down? Carter. Obama would not be too far behind him.

Woodrow Wilson wouldn't fare too well either. FDR would be the first to go down I would think, though.

FDR was not always wheelchair bound. He was something like 30 or 40 before being diagnosed with Polio. Isn't this suppose to be 'in their prime'? I think FDR would be about average.But yea, Wilson would be another that would be an early out.

How many times does it need to be mentioned that it is their prime while they were president, not prime of their life.

 

[Chadstroma]

First to go down? Carter. Obama would not be too far behind him.

Obama would stab someone, then blame it on GWB.

First to go down? Carter. Obama would not be too far behind him.

Naaah, gotta be W. He'd whip out his "Mission Accomplished" banner at the start of the fight and the rest of them would immediately gang tackle him.

First to go down? Carter. Obama would not be too far behind him.

I would think at least half the presidents would be so damn confused that a black guy is in the ring that Obama may use that as an advantage. He still would be one of the first 10 out though

Nice.

 

[Chadstroma]

First to go down? Carter. Obama would not be too far behind him.

Woodrow Wilson wouldn't fare too well either. FDR would be the first to go down I would think, though.

FDR was not always wheelchair bound. He was something like 30 or 40 before being diagnosed with Polio. Isn't this suppose to be 'in their prime'? I think FDR would be about average.But yea, Wilson would be another that would be an early out.

How many times does it need to be mentioned that it is their prime while they were president, not prime of their life.

At least to the point that I start reading. Any other questions?

 

[ChitownPone]

Lincoln is the first to go trying to save obama. All the old timers quickly take out obama, W start to snicker, he is taken out by LBJ ( it's a Texas thing) Kennedy get LBJ from the back and to the left. Kennedy also get Bush SR for being in the CIA and reported picture at the assassination time. Clinton is along the wall listening from Hillary on what to do, he is taken out. Kennedy wins

 

[The Ref]

Had to bump this...... One of the best discussions in the history of the interweb.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

I wonder if LBJ would kill Kennedy (again).

If the fight is set to take place in Texas, I'd say it's a sure thing.

 

[Das Boot]

I'd say one of the still living presidents would have a leg up on all the others.

 

[Riversco]

Half of them are racists and would immediately kill Obama.

 

[Riversco]

I don't think many of the early ones would take kindly to an Irish Catholic either. Kennedy would be gone pretty quick.

 

[Riversco]

Figure Lincoln would have a reach advantage on most of the competition. Probably a bit clumsy but pretty rugged. Teddy being massively overrated. Guy was a softie from Manhattan and Harvard. Ford will surprise by lasting longer than expected. D-I All-American Center, correct?

Teddy would ride FDR around like a warhorse cutting people that got close. Formidable duo.

 

[Run It Up]

Washington and if you think otherwise your a godamned fool.

 

[Vike Me]

Washington and if you think otherwise your a godamned fool.

Ok, we can lock this one up now.

 

[rockaction]

Harry Truman is being overlooked: "I fired him [MacArthur] because he wouldn't respect the authority of the President ... I didn't fire him because he was a dumb son of a #####, although he was, but that's not against the law for generals. If it was, half to three-quarters of them would be in jail." Harry S. Truman, quoted in Time magazine "I wonder how far Moses would have gone, if he had taken a poll in Egypt." "God doesn't give a damn about pomp and circumstance." "There are more prima donnas in Washington than in all the opera con~panies." "If you want a friend in Washington, buy a dog," "Give 'em Hell, Harry!" "The buck stops here" Truman watched an assassination attempt on his life- an actual gunfight - from his bedroom window. Truman had guts - easily top 5.

####### Truman. I need to see that movie and read that book.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Figure Lincoln would have a reach advantage on most of the competition. Probably a bit clumsy but pretty rugged. Teddy being massively overrated. Guy was a softie from Manhattan and Harvard. Ford will surprise by lasting longer than expected. D-I All-American Center, correct?

Teddy would ride FDR around like a warhorse cutting people that got close. Formidable duo.

Would just need a rotator added to FDR's wheelchair, similar to Rose McGowan's gun leg whipping around in Planet Terror.

 

[cstu]

Andrew Jackson and frankly I have no idea how this thread got so long (free pass for anyone who said Washington).

 

[The General]

If it hasn't been mentioned already Teddy Roosevelt got shot in the chest on the way to give a speech before being elected president. The dude said I'm good and gave the speech anyways with the bullet lodged in his chest. Ultimate badass move of all time.

 

[SaintsInDome2006]

This needs a poll but I realize there are too many Prez's really.

However, let's just assume this is for all of them in their prime:

1. Andrew Jackson - Old Hickory would beat MMA fighters of today, he was an All-American badass of the first order.

2. George Washington - vet of the French & Indian Wars, think Mel Gibson in The Patriot

3. Zach Taylor - the closest thing LA ever had to a president, I like him just on his status as war hero, he did some killing

4. Ike Eisenhower - saw plenty action, a soldier's soldier

5. US Grant - could move up to 3 or 4 really

6. Rutherford Hayes - wounded 5 times? Hellyeah, give me him.

7. Teddy Roosevelt - safaris, Cuba, Rough Riders, shot in the fg chest and finished his damn speech, not scared of sht

8. George Bush Sr. - again let's give a bump to the guys who saw serious war action and told big tales

9. Abe Lincoln - I think we have to presume that any guy who rode wood rafts down the Mississip in the mid 1800's was someone who could take care of his own business

10. Chet Arthur - when in doubt and lacking alternatives, in a fight always give me the Irish guy - I'll take Gerry Ford as the ex Wolverine football player as a backup if Chet is too drunk to fight.

 

[Don Quixote]

If it hasn't been mentioned already Teddy Roosevelt got shot in the chest on the way to give a speech before being elected president. The dude said I'm good and gave the speech anyways with the bullet lodged in his chest. Ultimate badass move of all time.

That was after he was President. During the 1912 election that he lost to Wilson.