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What's Normal? - Have you ever seen a psychologist/therapist/counselor? (1 Viewer)

Have you ever seen a psychologist/therapist/counselor?

  • Yes

    Votes: 87 58.0%

  • No

    Votes: 63 42.0%
  • Total voters
    150
Voted no.

Always something "I'm going to do". No doubt I have some things to work through, but never was ready to invest the time or money.

(EDIT: Complete forgot I did go to marriage counseling for about six weeks. He pretty much confirmed we needed to divorce. )
 
:yes:
Started in 4th grade, saw him every other week for five years. Some family crap, dad saw the same one before I did and kept going after. Depression runs in our family.
Fwiw, I started shortly after I asked my best friend how often he wishes he were dead. He replied with some shock, “never!” A week later my parents took me to dad’s psychologist.

I think there was benefit, but it’s hard to tell for sure.
 
Yes, multiple over the last 12 years. First time was when I developed depression (didn't know what was going on and got myself fired). It helped a ton because I had no idea what was wrong with me and got on medication that helped get me reset and then got back to "normal" after a year or so.

Since then, did some marriage counseling with my wife (free guy at church) that helped us with our communication and I also worked with a "life coach" for a while which did help some personally as well.
 
Jayrod said:
Yes, multiple over the last 12 years. First time was when I developed depression (didn't know what was going on and got myself fired). It helped a ton because I had no idea what was wrong with me and got on medication that helped get me reset and then got back to "normal" after a year or so.

Since then, did some marriage counseling with my wife (free guy at church) that helped us with our communication and I also worked with a "life coach" for a while which did help some personally as well.
Click to expand...
I love reading experiences like yours. I honestly think everyone could benefit from at least some kind of therapy/counseling. I need to make getting back a priority.
 
Have I? No* Should I? Maybe (not elaborating)

*no as long as marriage "counselor" doesn't count.
 
Keerock said:
Jayrod said:
Yes, multiple over the last 12 years. First time was when I developed depression (didn't know what was going on and got myself fired). It helped a ton because I had no idea what was wrong with me and got on medication that helped get me reset and then got back to "normal" after a year or so.

Since then, did some marriage counseling with my wife (free guy at church) that helped us with our communication and I also worked with a "life coach" for a while which did help some personally as well.
Click to expand...
I love reading experiences like yours. I honestly think everyone could benefit from at least some kind of therapy/counseling. I need to make getting back a priority.
Click to expand...
I think (as with a lot of things), you get out what you put in. If you just go and are either skeptical the whole time or expect the counselor to tell you exactly what to do and "fix" everything you will be disappointed. When I went I would usually have a plan in mind myself and it became a collaborative effort whereby they gave me tips and suggestions and helped me see things from a different perspective, but I/we drove a lot of the actual steps and did the work outside of the counselling office.
 
Jayrod said:
Keerock said:
Jayrod said:
Yes, multiple over the last 12 years. First time was when I developed depression (didn't know what was going on and got myself fired). It helped a ton because I had no idea what was wrong with me and got on medication that helped get me reset and then got back to "normal" after a year or so.

Since then, did some marriage counseling with my wife (free guy at church) that helped us with our communication and I also worked with a "life coach" for a while which did help some personally as well.
Click to expand...
I love reading experiences like yours. I honestly think everyone could benefit from at least some kind of therapy/counseling. I need to make getting back a priority.
Click to expand...
I think (as with a lot of things), you get out what you put in. If you just go and are either skeptical the whole time or expect the counselor to tell you exactly what to do and "fix" everything you will be disappointed. When I went I would usually have a plan in mind myself and it became a collaborative effort whereby they gave me tips and suggestions and helped me see things from a different perspective, but I/we drove a lot of the actual steps and did the work outside of the counselling office.
Click to expand...
Woah... the bolded is 100% me.
 
-OZ- said:
:yes:
Started in 4th grade, saw him every other week for five years. Some family crap, dad saw the same one before I did and kept going after. Depression runs in our family.
Fwiw, I started shortly after I asked my best friend how often he wishes he were dead. He replied with some shock, “never!” A week later my parents took me to dad’s psychologist.

I think there was benefit, but it’s hard to tell for sure.
Click to expand...
Well, you're thankfully still here! :hifive:
 
I have seen a few different ones over the last 15 years. Initially it was to help while going through a divorce, but I have continued off and on as I always seem to get positive benefits from it. Definitely agree that what you put in is what you get out, but also finding a therapist that you feel good about and work well with is equally, if not more important imo. Some are more passive in their approach, while others are a bit more direct. I had one that just never led anywhere and was fortunate to find a new one who has helped me tremendously the last few years. I recommend it to anyone who could benefit from discussing issues with a professional.
 
Yup, therapist monthly and psychiatrist's nurse practitioner quarterly. Depression, anxiety, work and family issues, etc....
 
Yes, emotionally focused therapy (eft). S/O brought a lot of childhood trauma into our marriage 😞
 
I did. Twice. First one told me to get a divorce after the first 30mins of talking to me. He then went on to talk to me about the roles of men and women in the household back in 1950 and how his marriage is solid today because of these roles.

Second one was much better and did help for a bit. Then COVID hit and I never went back. Probably shoudl tho...I keep thinking about doing it, but thinking about these two attempts had me realizing that neither really did anything to help. Best person I ever spoke with is no longer with us.
 
I’ve seen them off and on and currently seeing one. I would say it hasn’t been super helpful because I’m not really dealing with major anxiety. My wife and I used to see a couples therapist and that was helpful for a while until we eventually stopped following her suggestions (lack of communication has always been an issue). Now we definitely should be seeing her again but not sure that’s going to happen.
 
Yambag said:
Oracle said:
Yes, emotionally focused therapy (eft). S/O brought a lot of childhood trauma into our marriage 😞
Click to expand...
Curious did you find this valuable? In a similar situation.
Click to expand...
Yes…With emotionally focused therapy you learn to recognize protest styles and how to react to them accordingly. By doing this you do not get into a never ending circle of blaming each other for the issue at hand. For us, once we explored why our protest styles existed, it became apparent that my S/O’s style stemmed from childhood trauma.

When we got married I was secure attachment and my s/o was dismissive avoidant.
 
I saw three different marriage counselors back in the day with ex#2. First one resulted in an Rx for ADD for me (okay fine, but it did nothing to fix my ex), second one clearly took my side in most discussions (it was glorious), and #3 visited us at the house and tried to pitch some MLM soap and several other hygiene products.
 
Never have but probably should. I'm not dismissive of therapy at all, if it helps someone overcome or deal with whatever they got going on then good for them, power to the people and all that. But I just cringe at the idea of paying money to some stranger who is going to take hours upon days/weeks (which takes $$) to understand everything, when I manage to get by ok with having a quarterly whiskey night with my best friend who already knows me so well...
 
Yes, just this past year actually. I did some counseling after I experienced a very traumatic work event. Signed up for three sessions and the counselor initially doubted we would process everything by the end of the three sessions, but apparently I'm pretty good at processing horrible things. He released me after 3 sessions.

Positive experience overall. Would definitely go back to this counselor should some future life event pop up that starts to hinder my daily life (with this traumatic event I was waking up with nightmares most nights and was getting insufficient sleep).
 
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tried an online therapist for something I wanted to change and it went nowhere. Considering trying again but have not yet.
 
When my soloprenuer biz was overtaking my life in 07/08 or so, I saw a therapist for about a month. It felt good to vent to someone who didn't really know me, but I felt she tried to steer things too much towards my childhood and parents. Not everyone has deep childhood issues, lady - I just wanted some perspective and tools to help me shut off. I did feel it helped in an overall sense, but never felt a need to go back after my initial month.
 
No. Not opposed to it but I am also not good about getting help for myself, I am better at helping others and ignoring my issues lol
 
Yes. Wife and I did couples counseling and it helped tremendously.

I did a few sessions with a guy recently but just canceled because it wasn’t a good fit.
 
I know there are good people out there to help but I wanted to share this. True story.

A couple we knew were having issues. Then went to see a marriage therapist. The women in the marriage parents are "very, very" wealthy. The husband was an engineer at GM and made a good living, and they had a nice life.

So after they see this therapist who is a male as couples he wants one on ones with each of them for a few sessions.

The couple ends up divorcing. 6 months or so later the women is dating their therapist. They end up getting married and he quits being a therapist and they are doing a small business together that her parents fund..and they live in a million dollar home her parents fund.

My wife's circle of friends say "Oh that is good she is happy now" Would they say the same thing if the guy married their female therapist?

I told my wife this is so wrong. The wife is telling the therapist everything she does not like about her husband, or what her husband does wrong. So you know how easy it is to do the opposite then? Played her like a fiddle.
 
Yes. went for a bit in my 20s/30s to deal with anxiety/depression. found it very helpful to talk through some issues, gain new perspective and some methods for being more aware and dealing.

wish I had the time, insurance and/or resources to do it now.
 
Did couples therapy for two sessions. We ultimately got divorced. I think it was for the best, though I would’ve tried counseling longer.

I know a few psychiatrists. They’re great people, but tend to have mental illness of their own. Guess it helps them empathize?
 
Had some CTE happen but never saw a counselor. That might have been a decent shortcut. Pretty low on the CTQ scale but just saying. Overall good childhood but def a few things I wish never happened. Others have had it far worse, I never experienced physical or sexual abuse, but....that stuff stacks up and stays with you. There is a cumulative aspect and man is it hard to undo. Not impossible, but it's just not easy.

Experienced combat while serving in the military three times. That would have been a good time to see a therapist but I guess life on hard mode is just way more interesting.
  • Saw a therapist briefly after my divorce. I'm a little ashamed to admit it but I never loved my first wife. We had the most amicable and peaceful divorce in the history of Western civ. Used one lawyer, remained friendly (but not friends), got zero hassle from her when I or my immediate family wanted my son to visit. She's a good person and she found a very conventional, stable and boring German to marry. From outside appearances it's been a great fit for both of them. I only know his family always welcomed my son as full member of the tribe from day one, for which I am grateful. I digress....my first venture into psychiatry was brief and uneventful.

  • Went a counselor for a few months in 2006 after a devastating breakup. Turns out grief and loss over a relationship is a thing. Didn't make much progress or get a lot done with this one. I would judge it took me 6-7 years to recover from my fiancé leaving me less than two months before our wedding date. The invitations had gone out, that was....rough. Insult to injury, lost thousands in vendor deposits.

  • Grief counseling after momma died. She was my best friend and biggest champion. The sessions helped. So did some book recs from Kirsta4. Mostly just took time for it to wash over me and subside. I embraced the pain; she was worth it, she deserved to be missed dearly. I still miss her - man alive did I hit the lottery with one of my birth parents. As much as all of that sucked, I am glad to have had the experience. I have counseled and sat with many grieving friends and colleagues in the ensuing years. I always go to the funeral. It has been a blessing to mourn with those who mourn and weep with those who weep.

  • Rage. Suppression works btw - I effectively managed mine for a good three decades by just pushing it down further. It bubbled up during the toxic relationship I had co-parenting with my out-of-wedlock daughter's mom. Knew right quick I had to get a handle on this one. Went to a practice in downtown Manhattan called the Soho Center for Mental Health Counseling. There I utilized a treatment called Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT.) They helped me understand my triggers (disrespect, shame) and to recognize indicators like the physiological events that occur right before I lose it. They taught me how to deescalate myself. One of the best forms of therapeutic counseling I have ever had, highly recommend (CBT has broad applications, it's not just for anger management.) To this day I use the tools I picked up in six months of therapy.

  • Interestingly, in all of these interactions, no one ever unearthed the root cause of my issues: PTSD from the trauma I experienced in wartime conflict. Aw well, amazing how you miss something obvious when that's not the thing you are looking for I guess.

  • Life fell apart (that's a whole other novella), ended up on the street and eventually found myself in temporary housing for homeless veterans (thanks Obama!) They sent me to the VA Medical Center, and praise God, in time I learned what was wrong with me. Only took 35 years after the events that messed up my head, but hey, better late than never. I have spent over 27 of the past 45 months in an intensive program called the Psychosocial Rehabilitation and Restoration Center (PRRC.) My week typically involves around 30 hours of various forms of treatment. Talk therapy *(individual and group), activity based therapy, art therapy, CBT, creative writing, DBT, distress tolerance, mindfulness, music therapy, nutrition, recreational therapy, relaxation healing, sound healing, symptom management, yoga. The schedule changes every few months to start and/or end different modalities. It has helped beyond measure. The socialization aspect is exhausting for an introvert like me, and the commute is brutal - about 3 hours RT each day. But I never miss a day Monday-Thursday, and Fridays are virtual. My full-time job is learning how to effectively manage my mental illness and the wonderful comorbidities who came along for the ride.
@Keerock tl;dr - my answer was yes

*I opted to out for 18 months bc life became easy....until it didn't, and then I voluntarily re-entered the PRRC 3 months ago

edit word
 
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In my 30s I had gotten to the point where I couldn't relate to anyone anymore. I felt totally out of place, like an alien visiting earth. I couldn't maintain relationships. I also had a lot of self loathing going on. There'd be weekends where I'd get home from work on Friday and not go out of the house again until it was time for work on Monday. Got pretty bleak. I started going to therapy, at first grudgingly. Diagnosed as clinically depressed. It took a few years, but through doing that work I became able to build and maintain relationships, get less down on myself, etc.

There were a lot of deep seeded historical issues I never would have connected with my condition, but as I worked through them, it really started making sense. I understood myself better, and how I reacted to things, processed them, etc. Then started creating strategies for dealing with it all. Had a really great therapist to work with. No drugs or anything.

I don't think I could have become the husband and father I am today without having that therapy. I'm not anywhere near perfect, and I still have episodes of depression, but nothing like how it used to be. I could probably stand to do some more sessions, but there just hasn't been time. There are always ways to keep improving your mental and emotional state.

I recommend it if you're finding your life hard to understand or out of your control.
 
The key is to find the right therapist for you and that can take time. Even more so than finding a regular doctor, finding a therapist you connect with and fully trust is key. So many people just try one and when it doesn't really work out, dismiss the entire thing.
 
i have not but it mostly because and i am not joking here i worry what they would find if they started digging and most days i am pretty happy just to be on this side of the soil so i dont but i have nothing but respect for anyone who has or does take that to the bank brochachos
 
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