This thread might have some useful information.
@FarFromHome feel free to jump in
I just had a Friend that I've known for a few years open up to me a bit.
Im not sure what to do. He had me open the wiki to a page he was involved in. it was a pretty bad scene. and mentioned a few more.
He has never opened up before even though I know he was in battle before. he is not bragging. I once had a customer who was a fake ****ing bragger before.
Should I open up the convo next time? just listen?
When he had me open the wiki, I just said I would read it later as to not bring it up at that moment. I think I should have done more. but.... I didnt
In my experience veterans have a very hard time talking with civilians about fire fights. It isn't any easier trying to talk it over with a veteran who never experienced combat. It's impossible to get it if you have never been there yourself.
Literally the only people on the planet who understand are other combat veterans. If your buddy is having issues he needs to go to the nearest VA.
You did fine but there's a high probability you'll do more harm than good if you push him to talk more. But if he makes the decision that he wants to talk about it, that can be cathartic. These younger guys who deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan start getting help before they get out, and they often file claims before their discharge. Back when I served things were totally different; I went undiagnosed for more than 30 years.
One useful thing you could do if he brings it up again is determine if he is utilizing the Va mental health system. There are a lot of different kinds of programs at each facility that deal with PTSD. The program I have been in for 33 of the last 51 months is called PRRC (Psychosocial Rehabilitation and Recovery Center).
Read my description here; official description
from the VA here.
Incidentally, that was 7 months ago, the program is much more robust now. The roster is back up to where it was pre-Covid and having more Vets in the program has greatly improved the effectiveness for all concerned. But PRRC is not for PTSD only, we havre a broad spectrum of disorders amongst the 50 or so men and women currently enrolled. The three most common comorbidities are anxiety, depression and PTSD, but not everyone has the trinity. It's a holistic approach and it's helped me a lot, but managing my mental illnesses is a full time job.
If your buddy is dealing primarily with PTSD then possibly a more specific, focused program would be more appropriate.
If he doesn't want to seek treatment, be non-judgemental about it. Friend of mine just graduated from our program after 5 years or so. He's now working at the VA and has been weaning himself off in person treatment. He said something priceless at his graduation:
"If you ain't ready to talk yet, don't worry about it. Just keep showing up, listen to other veterans and the staff, and when you're ready to talk, then you will. But there is no right answer as to when that will be. If it's right now, great, go for it. If you're not ready, just keep chopping wood. Show up every day and eventually it will click."
Feel free to ask any questions you might have.
