I have been struggling a while with my weight. I had lost a lot of weight several years ago, right before COVID, where I was on a doctor supervised low carb diet and successfully got in the habit of exercise. The low carb diet was something I was able to stick to (more insight on that later) however, I started having what was diagnosed as gout attacks and even had two rounds of kidney stones. Without any doubt these were directly affected by my low carb diet. With both of them in discussions with Doctors about it, I was give a list of foods to avoid.... for both it was basically my entire diet. Now, to be fair, I don't think I was nearly enough hydrated which is also a big factor but clearly there was a direct link in that though I had had gout attacks in the past they were very rare. As well as never having kidney stones before.
I went back to the doctor and told him along the lines of "We need to change what we are doing" and he went on for a bit but then asked me "Do you want to die or do you want pain?" This pissed me off because that can't be the only two options. I stopped seeing him and decided I would get through the holidays and then find another place to work with.... then COVID hit. I stopped working out and eventually fell into old habits and gained all the weight back.
I have been trying for a long time to lose weight. Tracking my eating, limiting my calories and/or structuring my meals and a bunch of things... they all failed. I even got put on Ozempic because I was knocking on the door of being pre-diabetic as well as it being useful to lose weight. It had some impact but really not.
One thing I have not wanted to do was looking at some form of surgery to assist. It just wasn't an option I wanted to consider as I have seen people do it and either have complications or end up gaining the weight back or whatever. But, I felt defeated. I felt like I was weak willed and a failure. A loser. Why can't I just not eat at night? So many others are able to do so... why not me? My wife has come out of cancer treatment and that means we have met our family plan so basically any medical things I do are covered 100%. This has worked for the Ozempic as my insurance normally will not cover it. I went to refill early this year and it came out as $950. I said, no thanks, I will be back in a couple of weeks once all the other bills came in. With this all in mind, I set an appointment with my doctor to begin looking into surgery options as if I was going to do it, financially, it made sense to do it this year.
At the appointment, as we discussed everything, I expressed to him that the thing that seemed to always make all the attempts to lose weight before was that I would have cravings after dinner. It was this that I could not control. My will power would falter eventually, and I would give in. The reason why the low carb diet worked was when I had those cravings, I would go to town on some cashews, pistachios, and broccoli with hummus as my usual go to's (all of which are on the gout and kidney avoid food lists). This would satisfy the craving and I kept in line with my limited carbs for the day even if I added calories. Thus the diet 'worked'. When I explained that he thought for a moment (I love my doctor, he listens, takes his time and is very good... I think he loses some patients because I know if my appointment is at 1pm, I won't see him until like 3pm or later because he gets backed up.... and that is because again, he takes his time). He then told me that there was a medication called Contrave. It is often given to addicts in recovery. He wrote me a prescription and also put in to have scheduling set up the consultation process for bariatric surgery. I started to take Contrave and OH MY GOD.... what a difference! The cravings are gone. I still have found myself going to the fridge at night but I think that is more habit than anything and I am able to willpower it down. I haven't been exactly following a specific diet but I end up having one meal a day with a smaller portion than I use to have and then no nearly uncontrollable urges at night to raid the pantry or fridge. I haven't really been weighing myself but I did today. I am down 20 pounds from my heaviest. I don't know how much I have lost how fast as again, I was not doing weigh ins but knowing that over time I have dropped that is very encouraging. I have tried to drink or eat a meal replacement for the meals I am not eating but sometimes I forget or really just don't want to but I do make sure I have at least one and then whatever meal I have.
For me, the Ozempic and Contrave have helped me. Starting Contrave has given me great insight in that though it wasn't the only factor, the big failure in my weight was something that wasn't just being weak willed. The cravings would be intense and now that I look back on it, different from regular hunger pains, and that true addiction to the food was a hard fight without help. There have been a couple of other areas where I have noticed differences and now realize that they too were based in a compulsive behavior, for example, social media. I would excuse it as important for me to get business but really that is an excuse. I am much more focused now and now wasting time on it. Coming from a family of addicts and never recognizing that I basically was addicted to food, it has given me great insight into the kind of struggles my family members have gone through with alcohol and drugs as alcohol had never been an issue for me.
I don't know about the Contrave but I do know that I basically have 7 months on the Ozempic before it will be cost prohibitive to continue on it. So, my goal is to use these as tools now to lose all or the majority of the weight I want to lose while I can. Hopefully coming off the Contrave, those cravings will not return like before but I will fight that battle another day.
Next up... getting back into the gym on the regular. After that, maybe being more intentional on my food choices versus just smaller portions and less eating.