The four of us are sitting in my living room. I’m on the loveseat (left ), Ice and Amber are on the couch (middle) and Doc is in the chair (right). I’m relaxed, Amber is close to Ice being supportive, Ice is bristled with a “bring it on” type of posture and Doc is in full-on work mode.
I slowed down Doc’s eagerness to get started by doing proper introductions:
Me: Ice, it’s so glad to see you back. As Amber may have mentioned, I’ve been talking with Doc to work through different things and thought he could be of assistance to us.
Ice: Like I said, I’m not sure why we’re doing this now. I was drinking a little too much and just needed to take a break. (Amber is made some sort of “don’t be that way” gesture to calm Ice).
Doc: Thank you Ron (and now addressing Amber and Ice). As Ron mentioned, we’re been working together for some time now so I thought it would be good to discuss in a group session with his friends about how he’s progressing.
Me:
Ron has been struggling for a while now with maintaining healthy relationships. I wanted to see how he interacts in a group of his peers to better understand where he needs to improve. I really appreciate you ladies taking the time out to help tonight. So, here we are (proudly smiles).
Amber:
Ice:
Me thinking (okay, I get it. Make this about me so Ice feels comfortable. Okay, I’ll play along).
Doc: Amber, Ron tells me you have known him for several years. How would you describe your relationship with Ron?
Amber: Wait, I thought we were her for Ice?
Doc: We are but I think it’s important to know if we’re helping each other or not. So to start, how would you describe your relationship with Ron?
Amber: (looks at me bewildered) He’s…a…friend?
Doc: Would you consider him a good friend or someone you just now?
Me thinking (WTF is that supposed to mean?)
Amber: He’s a friend.
Doc: Why not a good friend?
Amber: Well, because he’s just not. That question doesn’t really make sense.
Doc: I see (writes). Okay, Ice how would you describe your relationship with Ron?
Ice: Doc, listen. I’m not ready for this. And honestly, I’m pissed this ####### (looking at me) made this entire situation about him.
Me: Ice I had no idea…I thought…#### this. Doc, I think you need to go.
Ice stands up, I stand up – Amber stands up and calms Ice and I down and insists we go through with this…this…whatever the #### it is.
I’m on edge now, Ice is oddly easily relaxed. She’s usually more caustic then this; Amber is looking at me with a “please Ron” look.
Doc: Ice, Amber – ask yourselves. When did you meet Ron? Under what circumstances did you meet him and how that’s been so far? Does he treat you like friends?
(I’m giving Doc the death stair at this point but he’s fixated on Amber and Ice)
Amber: I met Ice through his wife, so did Ice. We all use to hang out; just partying and Ron was just there.
Ice: Ron hated us actually. I think mostly because we ####ed his wife better than he could.
Me:
Doc: (looking at Ice) – Did you drink before you met Ron?
Ice: Yes
Doc: Did you ever feel you drank too much?
Ice: Sometimes I guess.
Doc: Did Ron ever tell you drank too much?
Ice: No, Amber was trying to get me to slow down for a while now.
Me: (interrupting) THAT’S NOT MY ####ING JOB!
Doc: Ron please, I’m sorry but do you see a pattern here? Your wife had friends; they’re no longer friends possibly due to your interaction. What about Angie? She left because of your relationship. What about Keara, she left because of you. What about Lance? (He starts rattling off name after name – they’re all gone or very distant).
Me: Ice?!?! Aren’t we friends? Aren’t we?
(Ice just looked at me with an empty glare on her face; I’ve never seen anything like it.)
Doc: Ron what about your friends you mention that you also discuss your troubles with. The ones at the bar you frequent?
Ice: Which bar?
Amber: Yeah Ron, what bar?
Me : It’s just a free for all place to converse – just guys blowing off steam after work. Nothing special.
Doc: Do you ever take Ice or any of your friends there?
Me: No
Doc: Why?
Ron: Doc, what are you trying to get out of this meeting? That I’m ####ed up? Because I know that already. That I have issues? Sure do. What’s the goal here?
(Doc just silently writes – Amber and Ice are quietly looking at me, puzzled yet I could feel their opinion of me changing.)
Doc: Well, it’s been a great meeting. We should do this again soon - have a good night.
Doc makes his salutations and leaves. We all continued to sit silently for a bit then Ice and Amber decide to leave. I returned to work the next day but couldn’t help but think I was getting more out of my internet retinue than my hired shrink.
About a week or so goes by that I don’t hear from Amber or Ice – there’s no way I’m calling either one of them. I’ll let them sort out what they need to do, as apparently, I’m the problem (not them). Later one night, phone rings a little after 10pm waking me up:
Amber: Ron? Is Ice with you?
Me: No, why?
Amber: She didn’t come home. She said she was going to the store after work then heading here; that was six hours ago.
Me: I haven’t seen her since the both of you were at my place.
Amber ushers off the phone then I go back to watching TV in my room with my eyes closed. About an hour later, my front door alarm starts countdown beeping (I’m not expecting anyone), I get up, put on a bathrobe and head to the foyer to see Ice with some chick I don’t know both obviously have been drinking trying to punch in the code to disarm the alarm.
Me: WTF? (I disarmed alarm)
Ice: Ron, “Ash” and I needed just one night to hang; we’ve been so good. It’s okay to party one night (both classy-eyed are looking at each other nodding in bilateral agreement). Ash, this is my friend Ron (oh, we’re “
friends” now), Ron, this is Ash. We were out, just for a bit then decided we wanted to be good and not drive drunk so we came here instead.
Me: How did you get here?
Ice: We drove
Me:
Ice: We decided we’d hang out just one night, nothing major…(Ice goes on blathering about whatever. Clearly I’m going to be up for a while nursing two drunks so why not be the third?)
Me: (walking away while Ice is talking heading to the kitchen; I make a drink then turn to them). Do you two want a drink?
Ice: Well, let me see (trying to compose herself). We only had two each then one when we left so it’s okay if we have one more (I just start making 3 drinks...Ice turns on music then the TV while Ash and I are in the kitchen).
Ash: This place is dope, how do you know Ice?
Ash is somewhat dumpy honestly (Offdee 5). She’s a short, pale, chubby white chick in weathered yoga pants and pullover that looks like she’s one spades game way from being someone’s baby-momma with kids named Daquan and Jalen. Kinda like a broke Kelly Clarkson.
Ice: (buts in) Ash and I met in detox and kept in touch like battle buddies (smacks her on the ###). This is my homegirl!
I go to my couch, begin to exchange conversation and generally make them both feel comfortable. Drink up, it’s not my place to judge. Sure, I could negotiate a BJ out of one of them but honestly wasn’t really feeling it at the moment. I’m fine having Ice back to being Ice and her new friend seemed cool.
While we continued to shoot the #### and drink, I couldn’t help but think about Amber and if I should let her know Ice was at my place or not. If I let her know, drama – if I don’t let her know, drama.